When you lie to me

When you lie to me, my world falls apart.
My gut wrenches and my heart bursts.
You are here, yet I feel alone, when you lie to me.

When you lie to me, I feel alone.
You hide your secrets behind darkened eyes.
I am here, but you look away, when you lie to me.

When you lie to me, you look away.
Put your chin to your chest; shift restlessly.
I wonder why I am here, when you lie to me.

When you lie to me, why am I here?
You shrink a little; become smaller to me.
We are here, yet ‘we’ are not here, when you lie to me.

When you lie to me, ‘we’ are not here.
We are lost to ourselves and each other.
We are here, but my world falls apart, when you lie to me.


I’ve just found lots of poems I wrote some time ago that were put into a PDF ‘book’, but I don’t think were ever blogged.

This is one of my favourites, structurally. 🙂


34 thoughts on “When you lie to me

    1. Maybe not so much structure as word play, taking part of the last line of each stanza and putting it in the first line of the next – until the last one, which loops back to the first 🙂

      1. Got you, that was good for you to explain to me. See? This is why I call this wordpress thing “my free online university”, well free if you discount what I spend on the freaking internet.

  1. I like how your structure actually goes against what would be traditional, yet follows a traditional rhyming pattern. That is something I can really get on bored with, as I am not a fan of ‘modern poetry’ at all, even at its most clever. I do however enjoy a classic with a twist!

      1. I was born and raised in Burnley. Moved here 9 years ago. I much prefer Burnley to Blackburn!

      2. Oh right! I lived in Southampton for 3 years for University and quite often visit my friend in Kent

      3. My spelling is abysmal today. I’m having a particularly clumsy day all round!

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