When you lie to me, my world falls apart.
My gut wrenches and my heart bursts.
You are here, yet I feel alone, when you lie to me.
When you lie to me, I feel alone.
You hide your secrets behind darkened eyes.
I am here, but you look away, when you lie to me.
When you lie to me, you look away.
Put your chin to your chest; shift restlessly.
I wonder why I am here, when you lie to me.
When you lie to me, why am I here?
You shrink a little; become smaller to me.
We are here, yet ‘we’ are not here, when you lie to me.
When you lie to me, ‘we’ are not here.
We are lost to ourselves and each other.
We are here, but my world falls apart, when you lie to me.
I’ve just found lots of poems I wrote some time ago that were put into a PDF ‘book’, but I don’t think were ever blogged.
This is one of my favourites, structurally. 🙂
Jane Sandford 
It is great.
Thank you, Rellick 🙂
Lovely, Jane. Yes, lying can leave a lot of damage in its wake.
Thank you, Nurse. Yes, very destructive – especially when the liar is caught out.
I agree, Jane. Once trust is betrayed, it’s very difficult to forgive and forget. You inspire me to write on lying and honesty!
Thank you – happy to be an inspiration 🙂
Beautiful poem. Well written. Love the image too.
Thank you, Asteway. I can only take the credit for the poem 🙂
I have no idea about structure, but it was very good.
Maybe not so much structure as word play, taking part of the last line of each stanza and putting it in the first line of the next – until the last one, which loops back to the first 🙂
Got you, that was good for you to explain to me. See? This is why I call this wordpress thing “my free online university”, well free if you discount what I spend on the freaking internet.
Yay! Glad to help 🙂
And thank you 🙂
Just saying it as I see it
I like how your structure actually goes against what would be traditional, yet follows a traditional rhyming pattern. That is something I can really get on bored with, as I am not a fan of ‘modern poetry’ at all, even at its most clever. I do however enjoy a classic with a twist!
Thanks for popping by, Kris and taking the time to comment. Hopefully, my scribblings won’t bore you too much 🙂
I should not think that will do such a thing!
Sorry – just realised you meant ‘on board with’ – whoops! Good to have you on board (I’ll shut up now – must be the Lancastrian in me 😉 )
Well I’m from Blackburn so I can’t say I noticed!
I think I should keep quiet now *cough* (Burnley) *cough*
I was born and raised in Burnley. Moved here 9 years ago. I much prefer Burnley to Blackburn!
I lived there till I was 14. My mum and sister are still there.
Are you still in Lancashire though?
No – I’m on the South Coast now.
Oh right! I lived in Southampton for 3 years for University and quite often visit my friend in Kent
Ha! I’m just outside Southampton 🙂
Almost following footsteps!
Spooky!
My spelling is abysmal today. I’m having a particularly clumsy day all round!
If you take your original comment, and remove the word ‘on’, it changes the meaning completely! 🙂
Hahaha I realised when I read it back! I apologise for my ineptitude today!
Just a tiny typo – I’ll forgive you this time 🙂
Thank goodness for that…I’ve a reputation to uphold!
Just dont commit apostrophe abuse! Unforgivable!