This weekend, I’m throwing it all away
It’s all got too much; it cannot stay
It’s cluttering up my once-tidy home
I need a fresh start to smarten the tone
It’s stuff and more stuff, it’s a hoarder’s delight
How could that happen, it seems, overnight?
It may just be one thing that’s tipped me over
But my stuff and his stuff are all mixed together
I can’t find a bean, when I used to be lean
I knew where to locate the things now unseen
But they’ve moved and I no longer know where they are
I check each nook and cranny, but don’t get too far
Messy house, messy mind; I’m craving some space
Where all my belongings are put in their place
Where I can move freely and stay fully able
to walk without bruising my legs on a table
It’s going – the lot – to the charity shops
The teddies, the books and all of the props
I could sell them on eBay, make a small fortune
I would make all the papers – the lovable loon
“Caught on camera in Waitrose in her birthday suit”
(after flogging her clothes at the Sunday car boot).
Everything must go!
Jane Sandford 
This is outrageous! I love it. One suggestion from a non-poet at:
I can’t find a thing, when I used to be lean
I knew where to find almost all of my things (east coasters pronounce been as bean (for whatever it’s worth)) But it works the way it is.
Thank you, Scott. You are right – and as I lie here eating jelly beans in bed, I shall ponder. 🙂
Updated to add an unseen bean (not Sean Bean). Thank you again for your suggestion 🙂
I love this! It’s not as easy as it sounds though. It accumulates very fast, like rabbits!
Thank you – in my case, it’s the soft toys that accumulate rapidly! I’m in trouble if I do take anything to the charity shop. The last time I went in, I came out with four bees and a duck!
I hear ya. The books don’t warn you about the giant piles of stuff that accompany kids. As they age though, the stuff gets smaller but more expensive.
What kids? Ha ha!
Oh no! All that clutter with no kids? Surely you jest!
Nope. No kids here! I have grown up kids who are long gone and none of their stuff is here. My daughter is getting married next weekend!
The bees I bought because the other half ‘needs’ them for props, but they’ve joined the zoo that is my collection! 🙂
Well, if the kids are gone, time for a big ole yard sale. Clear your nest! I won’t be able to do that for a few years.
The kids have been gone for 9 years and that nest is long cleared. The current mess is the result of two houses moved into one small house – and we’re both musicians and writers too, with all the paraphernalia that that brings! 🙂
Ah. I see. Well, clutter is clutter, no matter where it comes from. We have it too though. My wife can’t let go of anything. Gotten better but we still have too much
Great piece… And totally true I’ll wager 🙂
Thank you – and totally true – except for the last couple of lines 🙂