Tri-Haiku (2nd ‘free’ FlashComp!)

I am one of the judges as I am banned from entering the competition!

Graeme Sandford

three little kittens flash comp

If you would like to take up the 51-syllable challenge of writing a Tri-Haiku then the best original m one sent to me (or posted for my notice) for consideration will win a mystery prize from my good self.

Add the hash-tag #trihaikucomp and / or message me and all entries will be entered into this ‘FREE’ competition. Winner to be announced at 12 Noon GMT on Saturday 1st November

As an example, I have written one for you to observe upon – good luck – Graeme;)


Graeme Sandford

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Girlfriends on holiday eat supper with the polizia


Great title for a poem, don’t you think?

I was accredited with winning second place in the Andover Poetry Competition with this poem today! Yay! It was a front page announcement! Yay!

Oh! Hang on… I didn’t enter the Andover Poetry Competition. How can this be?

I did what anybody else whose other half is a poet would do… blamed him for entering one of his own poems in my name; it’s just the kind of title he’d give to a poem, and just the kind of thing he’d do! Had he actually done this, he would have scored a hat-trick, as two of his poems won first and third places.

The website said that the winning poems are to be recited at the acceptance night this Thursday. What was I to do with only two days to go? Well, I wrote a poem called ‘Girlfriends on holiday eat supper with the polizia’ in my lunch hour, of course. There’s nothing like a tight deadline!

The actual winner is a friend of mine. I’ve emailed her my poem in the hope that she’ll be happy for me to recite it in the open mic section on Thursday.

Congratulations to Graeme Sandford, my gorgeous soon-to-be-published poet partner, and the beautiful Sandra Gordon, whose poem title inspired this…

Girlfriends on holiday eat supper with the polizia

Men in uniform are a weakness of mine
Street corner hooker, bursting with red wine
Tuscan Chianti kisses*, a wink of an eye
Are sent their way; one thing I’m not is shy

Hunger in their loins, I see them looking
Draped around a lamp post, they see me hooking
They laugh, thinking I’m just a drunken tourist
Legs akimbo and my manner boorish

Comrades-in-arms walking down the street
Swaying gently, with no shoes on their feet
Holding themselves up as they holler, “Felizia!
We’re going to have supper with the hunky polizia”

I undrape myself and join the girlfriend conga
Free supper is relief, as we’ve run out of wonga
They’ve hunger in their loins, but I’ve hunger in my belly
And I crave for seeded crackers and some hot pepper jelly

I get antipasti bunny in a curried stew
Bruschetta, mozzarella; that’s Welsh rarebit to you
Pizza Margherita – Margherita? Now you’re talkin’!
This sure beats the streets and the barefoot walkin’

Spaghetti, amoretti – arrows courtesy of cupid
We’re filling up fast, this is getting kinda stupid
Feast of seven fishes with linguine in clam sauce
I don’t think it’s on the menu, but I’m eating like-a da horse

I am sated, I am slumped, I can scoff no mo
Until I’m handed an espresso and some gelato
I’m sobering up now, feel my senses returning
Look around me, feel my face and my heart start burning

A few weeks on, no longer Brit abroad
I’m munching on salami, ‘cause I’m feeling bored
So I start to book again, when my girlfriends shout, “Felizia!
We can’t go back to Italy, remember the polizia!”

I don’t.

*Tuscan Chianti kisses – If this looks familiar, it’s because it’s the second time I’ve used it this week; see recent haiku 🙂



I’m feeling inspired.

I haven’t written any poetry today, but my head has been full of my next ‘project’.

I received some fantastic feedback from a fellow poet after I performed a couple of my poems at an open mic night, Moving Voices, at The Art House, Southampton, last Friday. I’m a regular performer there, but it was my first time doing any proper performance poetry, “knees still quaking, but no paper shaking”.

I’m usually hiding behind my guitar, so to ‘come out’, so to speak, was quite daunting – and pretty amazing when it all went according to plan, and more 🙂

Myriam, from Makers Inc in Bournemouth, poetess extraordinaire and the organiser of a poetry slam underway at the moment, suggested that I combine my singing and poetry. My brain has been buzzing with ideas ever since, and inspiration hit me big time today.

No more hints for you just yet, but there should be something to listen to really soon.

Watch this space! Exciting times ahead!

Watch this space!

Close your eyes – A short story

Every morning, I am compelled by his power.

“Close your eyes”, he says in a tone all his own.

I disrobe and stand naked before him, trembling as the cold air caresses my flesh.

He counts down; three… two… one. Anticipation builds within for what is to come. I know there are others, but right now he focuses only on my body. I stand as still as I can as he scans for the slightest of movements.

After what seems like an eternity, he whispers, “open your eyes”.

Peering through still sleepy lashes, I obey and gaze at him intensely.

“Your balance is almost perfect.”

The corners of my mouth curl into a wry smile, yet still I wait expectantly. Within seconds, the moment arrives… a weight is lifted as I hear the fanfare.

Enveloping myself in the warmth of my robe, I put the Wii Fit balance board away until tomorrow.